Huddersfield – A Love Affair is Born – 08/08/2015


After a really heavy two weeks at work, an early (and I MEAN early) start was probably ill-advised. But I had an offer, which – a bit like the horse’s head in Jack Woltz’s bed – was hard to refuse.

That said, that early start afforded me a rare opportunity to see Manchester, but without the usual throngs…


(Thomas Street)


(Edge Street)


(Tib Street)


(Window Shutter – Stevenson Square)


(Graffiti – Stevenson Square 1)


(Graffiti – Stevenson Square 2)


(Newton Street)


(Port Street)

Manchester. 06:30 on a Saturday morning. Eerie. Quiet. And strangely beautiful.

Manchester, I love you.

Public transport in my area can be slightly……odd. Some services running, others not. That was how I found myself out of my house at 05:15 in the morning, walking half a mile to the relevant bus stop to catch the ONLY bus that could reliably get me to Manchester in time for the 07:26 train to Huddersfield. (And I fell aslep on that bus) Well, at least the Arch-Nemesis and I could say that the train was on time! (I also fell asleep on that train!)

Did I mention that I only got home at 4 hours before leaving again?

Then, we arrive in Huddersfield, step outside the rather grand station, to this….


Little did I know quite how thronged this was to become less than 4 hours later!

But the reason that I was up at an unspeakable hour on a Saturday? A visit to Mallinsons.

Huddersfield may be blessed with a number of stellar breweries, with Magic Rock, Hand Drawn Monkey and others, but NONE have the ability to consistently turn out single-hopped sessionable Pale Ales at the level of sustained excellence that Mallinsons can. None.

A brief visit demonstrated to both myself and the Arch-Nemesis just HOW they are able to achieve such consistent levels of excellence. With no little skill, combined with the judicious application of tech and process control. Both Tara & Elaine were very generous with their time and showed both of us around and explained how they do just what they do. The simple things. So well.

There is an argument for Huddersfield as a beer town uber alles. There is, for me, an even greater argument that for session pale ales, there is nobody better than this brewery. Mallinsons. Which is why I made the effort.

I’m also utterly delighted to have righted the most heinous wrong of ISBF2014. The absence of a Mallinsons beer. They’ll be brewing something special for us. And I’m excited.

There were no photos taken. I was too awestruck.


We got back to Huddersfield centre, via a cracking breakfast at Munchies on Albert Street (almost opposite the Star Inn – more later), thanks to Elaine for the recommendation!

So, 2 hours after we walked out of the train station, we have the scene above. In beating down sunshine. Following a walk around the area to assess the various food stalls (and they ARE many and varied!), we settled to a pint of Topaz by Mallinsons from one of the bars erected in the square. A fine sharp refreshing pint.

I myself, didn’t partake of as much of the food as others, but the offering ranged from superb curries, authentic paellas and Italian through to the more – shall we say – exotic. Anybody fancy a reptile burger? Made from 2 1/4lb patties of Crocodile and Python? I mean, of course I WOULD have, if it wasn’t for the rather filling breakfast….


It was hot. Far too hot for this old man to bare. I needed shade. And beer. And the Hand Drawn Monkey Beer Shop on Wood Street (one street behind the Railway Square) ticked all the right boxes.

Effectively two roomed, this slightly ramshackle feeling bar is just, just, (how can I put it without sounding like a 15 year old?) cool. It just is. And it is utterly effortless. It doubles as a bottle shop, but we were there for the cask beer and both that we had were excellent.

We sat in the room to the left of the entrance on the (HDM logoed) cushioned bench seating and – with the assistance of the open door and industrial fan – relaxed in the cool. The sole bar staff put some tunes on, “Rubber Factory” by The Black Keys and “Bjork Greatest Hits”. And I was happy. Two fine albums.

Back to the square and we met the other train borne reprobates – David, Des & Jeff – and following another wee beer in the square, we were off …..


The Sportsman (St John’s Road, Huddersfield)

This pub was the shape of things to come. A beautiful stone built corner pub, opening out into a big pace full of wood. And just lovely too. A large corner bar sporting a plethiora of hand pumps and decent keg fonts. There was at least one other room off the main room which looked nice and cosy too.

More Mallinsons in here. Well, when in Rome…..Cha Cha Cha was a fine pale beer too. As I would expect.


A beautiful boozer, with great beer. But an all too brief visit. Will stay longer next time.

The reprobates wanted to go to the HDM Beer Shop again. I’m easily led. And glad I did, otherwise I’d have missed the superb Cherry Pale Ale! Was that 1.5kg of cherries per cask? It tasted like a marriage of a good Pale Ale and a Kriek. Recommended.

Then, separation. Captain “c***t” (Jeff) wanted to The Grove to sate his basest keg urges. Des fancied it too. Too soon for me. There were two other pubs I wanted to visit. Both (as I was to find) classics.


The Star Inn (Albert Street, Folly Hall)

If this was in Manchester, the location would probably mean that it would have shut. I’m glad that it is in Huddersfield. It’s another beauty of a boozer.

Again, stone built. This is set in an industrial area just to the south of the town centre, not far from Mallinsons actually. Walking in, the colour scheme is warm, lots of wood and very comfy seating. It would be open plan if it wasn’t for a stone dividing wall that ends just before the bar and holds a real fire (I think – I WISH I took notes!)


The long wooden bar was festooned with hand pulls again. And, around the corner from the brewery, it had to be another Mallinsons. Zahercoe. I won’t tell you how good it was!


The pub, whilst being surprisingly large, maintains the feeling of a local. And is my kind of pub. Warm and friendly. And with good beer. What more could you ask for?


This. Is the answer to that question.

The Rat & Ratchet (Chapel Hill, Huddersfield)

The stone frontage is impressive enough. But doesn’t prepare you for what lies within.




I’m no architectural critic. But this is just so opulent and Victorian. A maze of many rooms. Loads of wood. Just SO bloody gorgeous. I may have just found my favourite pub. But it’s 30 miles away!

And serves Rat beers. Brewed on the premises. Beers that for me can do no wrong.

Nor can this pub. It. Is. A, Jewel.

We found a table and seats to the rear of the pub. And I just marvelled.


It seemed to go on and on. And that made me happy. I left with a lopsided grin. Reluctantly. Because this couldn’t possibly be topped.

The Grove (Spring Grove Street – just off the A62 ring road)

For drinkers entranced by the “c” word, I can see the attraction of this pub. It has absolutely loads of beer on raught, both cask and keg. From many of the luminaries of the c***t world. And the keg was getting battered. No surprise in the heat of this particular day. Now, just for the record, I am no hater of keg beer. I simply prefer cask. And I had a really nice beer from Durham, a Pale Ale (Jaded Muse), my first from this brewery.

The pub itself was mutiroom in feel with a room that felt like an old tap room to the right and a larger room to the left with some rather interesting artwork.


The thing that impressed me most, was the outdoor space.


It adds so much to this pub. And goes back quite a way. It was a nice surprise to see Scott the GingerBeerKing and some of the Wakefield CAMRA crew here. Top fella is Scott and always nice to have the piss taken out of me by a Yorkshireman!

The Grove would grace many a town or city. But – with a slight “after the Lord Mayor’s Show” kind of feel – it came after The Rat & Ratchet.

Which shows you just how MUCH Huddersfield beer drinkers are spoiled!

And, with a little walk around the square for some food ( a cracking paella), that was that. We tried to get into The Kings Head. It was rammed. As was the other pub in the train station. So to the train.

I may love Manchester. Deeply. But I could oh so easily have an affair with Huddersfield.

And feel no guilt.

And so, my beery friends, endeth my 200th blog post. The last for some time while I take a break.


Bottled Ales – February 2014 – Pt1

“I heard telephones, opera house, favourite melodies
I saw boys, toys, electric irons and T.V.’s
My brain hurt like a warehouse, it had no room to spare,
I had to cram so many things to store everything in there.
And all the fat-skinny people. And all the tall-short people.
And all the nobody people, and all the somebody people.
I never thought I’d need so many people”

(“Five Years” – David Bowie)

(Video link above courtesy of mack89464 on You Tube)

I have a saying that I use. “Trust me about Music & Beer – I’m pants at everything else!” Self deprecating, possibly, but Family, Friends, Music & Beer are my true loves (the last two being interchangeable). I try to make the lyric at the top of each post one that relates to something below. As you will see, that certainly applies here!

Five Years is taken from the classic David Bowie album “Ziggy Stardust and The Spiders From Mars” and is, in my opinion, the standout track on an album that has been in my all-time Top 10 for the last 30 years. Each of the 11 original tracks from the aforementioned “Five Years” all the way through to “Rock & Roll Suicide” are stone cold classics, burned into my brain since my two elder brothers were playing it 41 years ago. For me, the first of a run of classic albums which, in my opinion, ran all the way through to Low and Heroes (Side 1 of Low – the “pop” side, is still the single best side of ANY album! Anyone who disagrees had better choose his pistol carefully!)

As I am typing this (21:05 on Friday), I’m playing the album. It just never dates. I simply refuse to believe that it only reached #5 in the UK album charts!

Anyway, revelry over. This damn blog is supposed to be about beer…..

If you have ever read one of these before, you will know what is comes next. If you haven’t, you’ll soon learn! ……The format remains….

1. The Beer, 2. The Brewer, 3. The Strength, 4. The beer style, 5. The Price & Size (including discount, eg: for CAMRA membership, where applicable – if I can remember the price of course!). 6. Where from,  and, If a website for the vendor exists, the hyperlink to the shop / brewer website, just in case you are inspired enough by my ramblings to make a purchase! Here goes…


1. Dirty Blond – Hellhound Brewery (Hadleigh, Suffolk) – 3.9% abv – Blond Ale – £0 (330ml) – The Ale Man (Urban Market, Manchester)

I may have said this before, but if I have, forgive me for boring you but it needs re-stating. Since I have been writing this beery drivel, I have been lucky enough to receive bottles for free – not loads, but some – and when I do, I say the same thing each time. If I like it enough, I’ll review it. If I DON’T like it, I communicate my thoughts and reasons directly. My wafflings are there to highlight Good beers for my poor misguided readers to try. There. I say this, because this was passed (along with the Black Shuck from the same brewer) to me some time ago by Damian (The Ale Man) to see what I thought. He liked it himself, but fancied a second opinion.

This is a golden beer (as you can see, Doh!), with a light fluffy white head and a floral, slightly spicy aroma. It’s fairly light bodied in the mouth, fruity, very dry and has a big dry resinous finish. Really refreshing with a substantial grassy aftertaste. What a nice session pale this could be on cask! Hope we see it up in t’ North soon! Damian now has four beers from the Hellhound guys, well worth a try.


(My only decent 2/3rd pint glass got dropped!)

2. IPAHawkshead Brewery (Staveley, Cumbria) – 7% abv – IPA – £0 (330ml) – Direct From Brewery

This is another one that I received gratis, but this time, direct from the brewery. A most pleasant surprise, as I really love the beers from Hawkshead! I believe they were bottling limited run beers using a new micro bottling plant, this comes hence.

An amber coloured beer with a white head and apricot and orange aroma spilling forth. Slightly sweet on the nose. Toffee too maybe. Ooh….Sweet caramelly biscuit malt but some huge hopping here for balance. Full bodied, some malty sweetness and really fruity with apricot and a hint of grapefruit in here. A big bitter piney finish with piney resins staying on way after the swallow. An absolute cracker and one to be treated with a degree of respect.


3. Five Years – Five Towns Brewery (Wakefield, W Yorkshire) – 7% abv – Pale Ale / IPA – £3 ish (I think!) – Yorkshire Ales (Snaith, E Yorks)

I love Bowie. I love Five Towns beers. So, a series of Bowie themed beers brewed by Five Towns? A match made in whatever religious destination floats your boat!

Pale gold to straw coloured beer, white head with a mango and orangey aroma. Full bodied nice sponge cakey sweet malt balanced with some serious piney hoppage (Mosaic) Marmalade richness in there too. Mmmm….! Wow this is dry! Really, really fruity and dry. The resinous hops are making my gums tingle! This is almost in DIPA territory without being as sweet as some. Just so moreish…like all Five Towns. Absolutely Lush! If I have my way, we’ll see some of their draught in Manchester. AND SOON!


4. Topaz (Single hopped Pale Ale) – Mallinsons Brewery (Huddersfield, West Yorkshire) – 4.4% abv – Pale Ale – £2.29 (500ml) – The Liquor Shop (Whitefield, N Manchester)

Blah blah blah – Mallinsons. Blah blah blah – Single hopped Pale Ale….. OK. But I come over all Depeche Mode, I just can’t get enough!

Bright & Gold with a white head giving up a honeyed aroma with a little citrus that I couldn’t pick, maybe sweet satsuma? Smooth carbonation and easily slips down the throat, the sweet satsuma/tangerine comes through in the mouth with a substantial bitterness. More assertively bitter than the other SHPs Mallinssns have done, but still a superb beer with a strong bitter finish and resinous aftertaste. Yum, yum and thrice yum!


5. Elixium –  Quantum Brewing Company (Stockport, Gtr Manchester) / Elixir Brew Co (Collab) – 5.9% abv – Porter – £4.15 (500ml) – Great Ale Year Round  (Bolton Market Hall)

From the latest and most welcome addition to Bolton’s fairly parlous town centre drinking scene, a cracking wee bar with great local draught beer and an excellent bottle selection!

Black with a beige tan head and a deeply chocolatey aroma. Full bodied, chocolatey, like a real 75-90% bitter chocolate,a slight London Porterish sourness (original porters being sour beers) initial light sweetness, roasty and quite an appealing bitterness to it. A cracking earthy hoppy dryness in the finish. Breathe in after a mouthful and a light smokiness wafts over your mouth. Another cracker comes forth from Hempshaw Lane!


6. Hivemind – Weird Beard Brew Co (Hanwell, W London) – 5.6% abv – Honey Red Ale – £3.50 (ish) (330ml) – The Ale Man (Urban Market, Manchester)

An amber to red coloured beer, white head with a fresh zingy citrus aroma – nectarine upfront – fruity and sweet. Full-bodied, sharp and citrussy in the mouth, grapefruit tartness and quite resinous and a finish both tart and piney. A little honeyed sweetness in the aftertaste along with the piney resinous stuff. Some honeyed beers can be cloying and just TOO sweet, this is quite simply a corker and the use of honey is really well judged. I like it!

Well, that’s all folks! Well, for another week anyway!

On that note…’til next time…